Think how much you could achieve in your Life, Career or Small Business if you had unlimited trust in your abilities and judgement? A burning desire all day long to complete tasks, overcome difficulties and achieve ambitions and goals?
Of course life isn’t like that and we all have our ups and downs. It is when you are feeling stuck too often in the down, unhappy and struggling to find self-confidence and motivation that my Business Mentoring and Life Coaching can be enormously helpful.
Signs of low self confidence are many and vary from person to person. Perhaps you have frequent negative thoughts about yourself and your abilities? Do you regularly compare yourself to the ‘more successful’ people? Are you indecisive about tasks or procrastinate and put things off unnecessarily?
Are you sometimes unsure who you are or what you want? Do you feel anxious, ill at ease or shy in certain situations such as socializing, at work, business networking, selling face to face to customers or dealing with a complaint?
12 Signs of Lack of Confidence
1. You compare yourself to other ‘more successful’ people.
2. You might not stand up straight and tend to slouch.
3. You give up too soon.
4. You may feel anxious, ill at ease or shy.
5. You have frequent negative thoughts about yourself and abilities.
6. You back down during a disagreement because you don’t think your opinion is important.
7. You may hesitate to contribute your opinion in a conversation especially in groups.
8. You are unable to relax in certain situations when you want to.
9. You will probably struggle to accept compliments or take constructive criticism personally.
10. You lack a sense of direction in life or are generally discontented.
11. You are unsure what you want or who you are.
12. You are indecisive about simple tasks or put things off unnecessarily.
A lack of confidence can manifest itself in unhappiness, negative thoughts and feelings and in your behaviour. Here are some examples and the self-confident solution.
Adjusting your behaviour according to what other people think or tell you should do or people pleasing. The solution is to do what you believe to be right even if others mock or critisize you for it. It is OK to please yourself.
Covering up your errors and trying to fix the problem before anyone notices. The solution is to readily admit your mistakes. Ask yourself how can it be fixed. Ask for help. Learn from the experience. Feel the discomfort and let those feelings pass.
Dismissing or discounting compliments. Extolling your own virtues to others. A solution is to wait for others to recognise your achievements. Hear and accept compliments. Be aware of your discounting or grandiose thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Fearing failure. Not getting started or giving up early. Avoiding taking risks. Staying in your comfort zone. Lacking motivation. The solution is to take risks or go out of your way to achieve something. Step out of your comfort zone into your stretch or learning zone. Make a start.
5 Suggested Ways to Build Confidence
1. Body language
You can build your confidence by changing your body language. You can start with your posture, eye contact and smiling. A simple smile with your shoulders back emanates confidence. Smiling will not only make others more comfortable around you, it can make you feel better too. A person who is smiling with good posture looks and feels self-confident.
2. Negative people
If you are constantly doubting yourself, you might have to evaluate your inner circle of friends and family. It can be tough, but if another person feeds your lack of confidence, a temporary break from the person that is contributing to these feelings can offer a real positive step in building your confidence.
3. Accept no failure
Don’t give up. Keep going. Why do you want to throw in the towel? Succeeding through perseverance can be one of the best confidence boosters.
5. Be prepared
Whatever you are facing next, learn everything there is to know about the subject. If you are prepared and knowledgeable, you will more likely be self-confident.
4. Create lists
Sometimes life can get too much for us and makes it really difficult to keep up our self-belief. If this happens, try sitting down and make a list of all the things that you are worried about. That will help to ‘park’ them and free your mind. Then make a separate list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing however small. This will remind you what a great life you already lead – it can be especially powerful when your self-confidence is waning. You can look back at the list of worries in a week or two and see how far you have come. You may be pleasantly surprised.
How Can I Help You?
Confident people ask for help when they need it. They do not hide their vulnerability or lack of understanding and are excited by the opportunity to learn.
Please contact me to arrange a ‘with compliments’ discovery meeting over coffee or a telephone conversation.
We will explore and work through your issues at your own pace. Helping you to become sure about what you want and get excited about new opportunities.
Your self-confidence and motivation will improve once we have identified an action plan and you begin to take positive actions and steps forward however small.
I will be a steadfast source of inspiration and encouragement on your journey and encourage you to identify and overcome difficulties, take calculated risks and achieve the life or business goals you want and feel better about yourself.